So it was a Wednesday night, and I was attending my first Rave party at Karma Lounge in downtown Austin with a couple of friends. My friends and I were standing outside when a girl (let’s call her Callie) walked up to my friend Kevin and said hello. They apparently knew each other. Kevin asked her how her pet ferret was doing, and she replied, “Oh, he’s in the car right now! Wanna see him?” So Kevin, my other friends and I walked over to her car. Callie opens the door and we see a bag that looks about the size of a lunch bag. She opens it and pulls out a small, limp, dead-looking ferret named Paco. I’m pretty sure I gasped…..then tried to hide the fact that I did. Someone asks where she got the ferret from. She says, “Oh, my boyfriend stole him for me from Petland!” Everyone says, “OMG, how did he steal him??” She explains how her boyfriend had pulled the ferret out of a ferret cage, discretely hid him under his jacket and walked out.
Noticing the limpness and closed eyes of the ferret, Kevin asks, “Is the ferret more lively during the day?” She replies, “Oh, yeah, definitely. He’s just stoned right now. That’s why he looks like that.”
Noticing the ferret’s thin body, another friend asks, “What do you usually feed him?” Callie replies, “Usually a lot of lunchmeat. He likes lunchmeat.”
Weirded out, my friends and I say bye to Callie and tell her we’ll see her inside the club. So, we walked into Karma Lounge. The music was sweet, sweet music. There were two awesome girl DJs, both spinning hot house beats. One of them was a friend of one of my friends. The other one was inside a room with shag carpets, lounge couches and crazy jumping raver kids with rave lights and glow sticks. All of a sudden, Callie walks into the shag carpet/raver kids room. One of my friends yells, “Hey, it’s Paco!”
Everyone else says “WHAT??!?!?!” And lo and behold, Callie had on a messenger bag with Paco’s ferret head sticking out of the top of it. She then proceeds to dance provocatively on the dancefloor to the loud music with the stoned ferret bobbing up and down inside the messenger bag. When she’s starts to dance to hard, she hands the bag to one of her friends to take care of.
THIS WAS LITERALLY THE CRAZIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
Cliff’s Notes:
1. Girl leaves pet ferret in her car while she goes to a club.
2. We find out that ferret was stolen by her boyfriend from Petland and that it supposedly eats lunchmeat.
4. We find out that ferret is also stoned (as is the girl who brought ferret).
5. Girl brings ferret into club inside messenger bag.
6. Girl dances with ferret in messenger bag.
7. We fear for ferret’s life.
